I spent many years in a corporate world and I loved it. I knew how to play the game, how to navigate politics and compete with men. Exactly – I knew how to do it all by being like them. Like men.
I was ambitious, goal driven and competitive. For 10 years I lived like this, thinking I got it all figured out, until I hit the rock bottom and suffered from depression.
It wasn’t easy to bounce back, mostly because I didn’t see anything wrong about how I lived my life. It’s hard to change when you’re so convinced you’re doing everything right.
This is when I discovered something that changed my life forever (it also eventually got me to quit my corporate job and become a Tantra teacher – but that’s another story).
See, I discovered that I can get so much more by following a different path. Instead of pretending to be a man, and doing everything the masculine way, I can follow the feminine path. When I did, not only did I finally got a promotion I was waiting for a whole year with growing frustration, I also started getting more interesting projects and my boss started to listen to me and be more friendly. I finally felt satisfied at work, both in terms of my career and my social life.
So what does the “feminine way” mean and how can you move to this path?
First of all, we need to redefine what “feminine” means. If you’re anything like me, you may think that being feminine means being passive, weak and incapable. And while I would see beauty in being feminine, I did not see it as a proper behavior in a work environment. At work you need to be focused, hard and determined.
This is where I was wrong. Social conditioning around femininity is so strong that us – women themselves – consider being feminine a weakness. While, in fact, it’s a force more powerful than you have ever imagined.
In Tantra, we see the feminine as the creative force. The same that created me and you and the whole Universe. And you, as a woman, are a reflection of that power.
So how can you be weak? How can you be passive? Inside of you, you have the potential to give birth. if you can create life, what can you not create?
Staying in this strong understanding of the power of the feminine, I invite you to explore this energy. It will change everything in your life. It will change how you relate to men and the quality of your intimate relationships. It will add sparkles and passion to your sex life. it will change how you interact with women. And with your parents. And even what kind of work you do and how much you get paid. It’s a shift that impacts everything – and trust me, it impacts it for the better.
The feminine way of interacting with men at work
Once you make a decision to be in your feminine it will change forever how you relate to men. Till now, while being in your masculine, you were trying hard to prove your worth to men by competing with others (both men and women). You were trying to show them you are independent, capable, and perfectly equipped to the job.
But.. who are you really trying to convince?
If you believe you are capable, there is no need to try hard to prove it. Once something becomes a fact or a norm, we don’t have a need to show it off.
Being in your feminine means understanding you are already capable, you are already independent, smart, productive, intelligent and great at your work. Because this is a fact, you no longer need to prove it to anyone. Now, it opens the door to treat men like partners instead of enemies. That means:
- allowing a man to help you – when a man offers help, it does not mean he thinks you an’t do your job. If he offers his advice it’s because he thinks you are. He wants to feel acknowledged by you. He is looking up to you and by offering his advice he wants to connect. If he didn’t respect you, he wouldn’t offer his support.
- complement men – you and I, and every other human being on this Planet has an ego that needs to feel important, acknowledged and needed. As women, we demand a man to give us complement, get us flowers, tell us we look nice. But are we willing to do the same for them? Keep in mind men and women have different needs. Telling a man he is handsome does not have the same impact as if you told a woman that sh is beautiful. Men feel recharge when you complement their skills and abilities. So make it a point at work to acknowledge what men have accomplished, and what they do, they efforts, hard work and commitment.
- listen to men – a man’s brain is single focused (comparing to the always-scattered women’s brain). That means that a man needs more time before we speaks up. While women need to talk to get clarity on what they think, men gather their thoughts quietly and only then speak up. Just because he is quiet doesn’t mean he didn’t understand your question. He is getting ready to reply, so give him time (if you’re not sure, just wait 30 seconds before you speak).
- let men court you – men love feeling like a man, they love adoring women, doing things for them. Our feminine energy is like a nectar to them. Chivalry is not dead, unless you kill it. So let them open the door for you, give you a complement, help you carry something heavy, or get you a coffee. They enjoy doing it, and love, I know you do too.
Have fun with it, after all the feminine is playful. Remember you are already amazing, and when you no longer need to prove, you open yourself for being treated like a princess. Just try it and see its magic.