Me & Money, The Unconventional Love Story





Money never played a big role in my life. At least that`s what I thought for the first 42 years. My whole life had to break down before I realized that I need to pay more attention to it.

Don’t get me wrong! I always had enough money, could afford the things I wanted, went on vacation, even owned a house. Still I didn’t have a clue about my financial situation – and that was my ruin.

I know many women who don`t care about their money. Most of the time, their husband is the one who manages the revenue, the bank account and decides the big expenses. I’m 43 years old now and you might thing that I never heard about feminism or emancipation. I did. I even studied gender studies for two years at the university. What a shame, please don’t tell anybody.

I know now that this topic is NOT about feminism and NOT about emancipation. It’s about taking the responsibility for your life, feeling secure within yourself and be confident. But to come this far, it needed a great misfortune.

Widowed at the age of 37

My life has always been quite easy. Most of the time I had a job, I liked the work, had nice friends, no ups and downs. Imagine a river slowly flowing… That was my life until I was 36. Not very exciting, not extremely happy, just dribbling from day to day. I met my former husband at the age of 30, we got married two years later and bought an old house.

Still being busy refurbishing the house, my husband got the diagnosis: cancer. Only nine months later, and he died at the age of 42.

At that time I realized that something went wrong with my finances. The house wasn’t insured properly so I was left with a lot of dept – and I mean a lot! I became insolvent and filed for bankruptcy with the court. That was 2010. There’s law in Germany which allows you to get rid of your depts, when you are under observation of a lawyer for six years, show him your income and under certain conditions seize your money. No credit card, no overdraft facility, no contracts without guarantor. This period will end in August 2016.

Bunch full of depts and nothing changed

You might think, that I started 2010 away to take of my finances. Well, I didn’t. But there is one good reason, why I became insolvent and why many other debtors are making depts over and over again. Their relationship to money is bad and they (including myself) don`t even recognize it.

So again, I didn’t have money, a bunch full of depts and my life was dribbling from day to day.

In 2014 I read the book “Kiss that frog” from Raho Bornhorst and Brian Tracy. All of a sudden I felt, that there has to be something more. There must be more in life than these boring days, more fulfilling, more action. I actually felt exciting, although I haven’t even started.

Money on my mind

To be honest it took me two more years before I actually changed something. And then it were only tiny steps into the unknown future: I started blogging. The rough direction was clear, but it took me a few months to clearly concentrate on the one thing that was on my mind. Getting clear on my money issues.

So I wrote about money. But it wasn’t only that – it was far more! I suddenly REALLY realized that I could create my own future and my life. I could do whatever I wanted! I could do the things which make me happy, not just working freelance and being glad in the evening to shut down the laptop. I knew from the beginning, that there is a big chance in the online business for anyone who is eager to learn and work a lot.

Well, I learned a lot and I worked about one year for free. Recently I started earning some money with webinars. It’s not much right now, but it shows me, that I`m on the right track. Still, every day filled with a lot of work was worth it. My life changed completely in 2015, until I started to take my money serious.

This is what money taught me:

  • Take responsibility for your life. No one else except you is to blame, when something goes wrong. You always have the choice to follow another direction.
  • I’m capable to do a lot more than I thought before. I do my taxes, I save money, I don`t have to pump my mom for money anymore. I`m doing interviews via Skype with successful online entrepreneurs, run my own webinars and even started my own podcast recently – all things I never even dreamt about. I thought I was a lazy and shy girl, and now look what happended.
  • Life is beautiful! Before, my life was like driving with a car on a freeway … Now I enjoy so many moments! I practice gratitude, step out of my comfort zone, raised my confidence, established my morning routine, got to know a lot of interesting and inspiring people and discover so many opportunities.
  • I feel that there is a lot more to come. I have a vision, I have dreams and wishes. Every other day I feel excited without knowing why – that is such a great feeling. I never thought that my life could be like this. And I know that it can be even better!
  • I can be myself. With an online bloggings business I can do whatever I want, show my personality and don`t have to care if someone likes me or not. There’s enough room for everyone. The more I find out about myself, work on negative beliefs that hinder me and take responsibility for every aspect of my life, the better I feel.

And the best thing is: if I can change my life, you can do it as well!

Linda Benninghoff

Linda Benninghoff

Linda is a financial blogger from Germany. She wants to motivate and inspire women to care about their money. Thus they bring order into their finances, they take responsibility for their life.
Being in the same situation as many women with money problems, she knows that they often feel ashamed, lonely and worthless.
Linda helps them to change their attitude towards money and life and shows through her own way that they can have awesome times even in hard phases of life.
Connect with her her german blog or write her an email at mail(at)mymoneymind.de

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