Stop cutting cords. Create them.

What cords have to do with being grounded and dealing with heartbreak.

A few years ago when I was dealing with a really bad break up, I first heard of “cord cutting”. I learnt that we create these cords and become dependent on our lover and that as a part of our spiritual growth we learn to build relationships free of those cords.

But my experience has shown be something totally different.

It’s not the cords that cause the pain. It’s the cutting of the cord that does. The cord itself is a beautiful phenomena that links two people together.
I have let go of the notion that we don’t need our partner. We do. And it’s absolutely ok and beautiful to be dependent on them. Because no matter how spiritual you are, you always remain dependent on something.
You are dependent on air and food. Toddlers are dependent on their mothers to survive. As a social being, you are dependent on human connections. You are dependent on Earth for vitality and energy supply.

I think of cords as energy channels that allow for the exchange of the vital energies. Yes, you do need to feel loved and cared and cherished by your partner. And you receive these energies through cords.

So the cord itself is not bad. What is bad is that we are lacking the cords.

Imagine you have 20 strong, healthy cords. And then one snaps. You won’t be affected as much.
But imagine you only have 2 or 3. If you lose one of them, it will profoundly impact you.
And then imagine you only have one. To your lover. And then you break up and you lose this one cord. No wonder people become miserable, and even suicidal, once their relationship ends.

The break up is the cutting of the cord. And it’s painful. So “cord cutting” won’t do much. The cord is already cut. You can pull it, which is a much better practice. But you will still remain in pain, because you lost your only (or one of the very few) sources of connection.

This is were creating cords come in. Imagine having a powerful, strong network of 15 or 20 cords that keep you satisfied with love, with compassion, with nurturing, with joy and fun and anything you need.

Here are the primary cords I believe everyone should create:

1. To your family

This is the very first source of connections. Too often we use spirituality as an excuse for becoming distance from our families. I believe our soul chooses the parents. And that soul is directly connected to the Divine so its choices are perfect. You have this family for a reason. Healing your rapports with them is possible and it is needed. Healthy family ties can provide you enough cords to feel safe and happy in life.

2. To your friends

Think of your most important, closest, most honest 5 friends. Invest in these relationships. The better friend you are, the more they will reciprocate.

3. To Earth

We need to be grounded. Earth is our source of vitality, physical strength and health, sense of security and being taken care of.
As much as possible, get in direct touch with nature. Walk without shoes, lie down (belly down) on the grass, sit on rocks, hug a tree, caress a flower.

4. To Cosmos

This is the source of a more refined energy, understanding that there is more than the physical life, that there is a bigger picture and we are a part of it.
Stare at the starry sky. Enjoy the Moon light at night. Go into mountains and mediate on higher chakras (Throat, Third Eye and Crown chakras).

5. To Yourself

Take time to spend with yourself. And I don’t mean be with yoruself, cause you have nothing else to do. I mean make plans, just as if you were making plans to go out with your best friend or a lover.
Tune more into yourself. Before ordering food, close your eyes and ask your body what it wants. You may not hear anything at first, but continue this practice and you will hear your body again. Try to follow your bliss, instead of what you “should” do.

Apart from these 5 cords, you can also nurture the cords with:
6. Your teacher/guru
7. Your Guardian Angel, Ancestor, a Spirit
8. Your home
9. Your lover

And yes, your lover is not a primary cord. Why? Because they may be in your life or not. If they are, that’s great. But they should never be the only cord you have. So even if they are not there, you will be ok if you create the other cords.

Much love,

Magda Kay

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