The Impermanence Of Life

I wasn’t sure if I should write this article or not… I was thinking of people who might get offended or find this text disrespectful. None of this is my intention.

This morning I found out a friend of mine died. He was killed in a car accidents.

I found myself continuously thinking of it. For the whole day I couldn’t keep my thoughts off of that incident.

I didn’t know him that well, actually. We met once or twice. When you live abroad, you bond right away with all the other foreigners. Still, we were not close.

And yet the news of his death shook me so much.

I wondered why…

He was about to move out of Malaysia and go back home. Tomorrow.

Two days before his flight he had a goodbye party. He died on the way back from that party.

How ironic life can be.

This is why I was so chocked by his death.

I was thinking of his family that must have been so happy awaiting their son come back after such a long time. Especially for Christmas.

And in this excitement of having their son back with them, they receive the news that instead, they will never see him again.

I’ve lived in Malaysia for 3 years. I’m about to board my flight back home for Christmas. And me, too, is soon moving back home.

The thought of just how similar our life journeys are, has been speeding thru my head the whole day. Ever since I heard the news I’ve felt uneasy about flying home. What if that happens to me, too? What if I die?

Whenever we encounter such a tragic death in our lives, it always makes us reflect on things.

It reminds us of how fragile everything is. Sometimes it just takes a fracture of a second to change everything.

This got me thinking of how obsessed humans are with making things last forever.

We build businesses with the vision of never-ending growth. We construct buildings to last forever. We expect our relationships to last forever. In our minds, success means success that lasts forever.
If something ends, we immediately label it as a failure.

That relationship that ended after two years?
It didn’t work out.

That great brand that disappeared from the market after initial boom?
Business failure.

That person who died?

Our obsession with “lasting forever” is but an illusion that we can live forever. Making everything around us last gives us a faulty belief that we too will last.

But where is that obsession coming from? When did we start fearing death so much?

In the past, and indeed in many cultures today, death is celebrated. It’s not perceived as a failure of a body, but as a joyous moment when the soul decides it’s ready to move to the next adventure. Death is not the end, it’s just a transition.

A lot of spiritual people (me included) believe that no person will die unless its soul is ready for the transition.
If you still have lessons to learn in this life, if you still have a purpose to fulfil, you will live.
But if your soul has completed its purpose on this planet and in this lifetime, then you’re ready to go back. In peace.

This means that there is no injustice in any death. As brutal and unfair as some of them may seem, everything always happens in the right moment and in the right way.

There is no saying that somebody didn’t deserve to die. Or that they left too early.

Death is not a punishment. It’s one step on a very long journey. And it’s our soul’s free choice.

This is the belief around death that I chose.

My friend’s death was surely a test for these beliefs. I realised I found it hard not to feel upset, shocked or to ask why.

Because his death reminded me of my life. And that one day it too will end. And I do not know when that day will come.

But it also makes me even more committed to learning to look at death in a different light.

I strongly belief that when a person is dying, they would rather be surrounded by happy and joyous people. By games and music. By laughter and flowers. Rather that darkness, dreadfulness and despair.

I still have a lot to learn. I still have a lot to accept. And a lot of judgement to let go of.

So dear friend, I want to thank you, for your story serves as a reminder.

First, is to cherish every moment and every person in our life… Every. Single. Day.

And secondly, to surrender to life and trust that everything is in the highest order.

Maybe that’s what you were here to teach us. Maybe that was the last lesson you shared with us.
I hope you’re at peace now. And that you’re celebrating on the other side.

With love,

Magda Kay

P.S. Sorry I couldn’t make it to your goodbye party. Let’s catch up soon.

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